thoughts at my parents' divorce trial as i sat outside of the courtroom waiting for 6 hours:

1. misery has holes in it.
2. emotions are looped in chocolate royalty and stained designer suits.
3. pain that once was pantyhose dressed in dry scaly legs has erupted into
porous brick melted into anger.
4. the curve of my foreign legs reminds me of distant mountain ridges cloaked
in cotton mist.
5. the sound of doors opening makes my ears perked like heavy dust stuck on my
glossy eyelashes.
explanations:
1. my aunt comes out of the trial door and screams at me that my dad is a fat liar. my sister takes her to another room to cry. my dad tells me
sometimes that my mom is a liar.miseryhasholesinitthaticanescapeinto
2. everyone is dressed up so they can get money. i hate money. what do they need so much money for? chocolate royalty and stained designer suits why bother with all this emotion?
3. sure. i had to dress up too. be a fake in my tapestry-skirt (that's
what my sister called it). i was sad. and then i was mad. why did i have to wait for 6 hours outside of the courtroom door as my parents life was
on trial? it's beyond me.
4. remembering happiness when i went to the mountains with my boyfriend. what a crutch is that. i just miss him and would rather escape into him.
5. when the door opens witnesses are called in. to take sides. etc. tears and fear and blindness and listening

in more recent matters, im obsessed with kissing right now. and even more obsessed with thoughts of sex. geez. i really go through phases.