god is scraping flesh with a shiny-stainless-steel steak knife from two walls on the insides of my uterus. the exposed flesh bleeds, throbs, cries - a sensation that makes my entire body shiver in hot and cold blood. it tells the whole body, even underneath my fingernails i know that my body is scraping itself to pain just by the chill of it

so that is what it's like to be female. i suppose that's what other girls call cramps? doesn't really feel like cramps to me.

i did some drawing tonight and actually somewhat enjoyed it. i think the objects i picked for my last project were just so ridiculously awful... i want to do portrait drawing. but did you know that the right brain is timeless? it can't tell time. the right brain must be where love is then

sorry for the looseness. that's how i feel. it's this one crazy tight pain in my uterus and the rest of me is this huge mass of loose flesh that's just trying to fall away from that... so my whole mood is loose.

sleep now.